There are many decisions we must make in life and recently I had to make a pretty rough one.
Let’s go back four years.. we were due with S this month and we had made the decision she was our last baby. I didn’t want to get my tubes tied because it was too final for me but my husband had began talking to his doctor about vasectomies – the process, what to expect during recovery, success rates, etc. He obviously never got fixed because we have E now but in that moment we thought we were done. Two kids was enough for us.
In the winter of 2016 I brought up “What if we have one more? What are your thoughts on that?” Husband wasn’t really on that same page with me and I was okay with that. If you remember correctly we were done after we had A, too.. but six years later decided why not try for one more? This seems to be a pretty common issue with us. “We’re done. No more.” Then having another. In July of 2017 we began trying for our third baby. We conceived in December 2017.
When I first mentioned to hubs that I wanted to get my tubes tied after we had E, he wasn’t sure I’d actually go through with it because of our past indecisiveness. Honestly, I worried this too. The whole pregnancy I kept telling myself “Three is good! It’ll complete us.” I’m not sure I believed it yet, though.
When the time came to go back for my procedure I was nervous, I won’t lie. But… the feeling of completeness was different than what I felt after I had S so I knew it was the right choice!
I have moments where I get a little sad because I’ll never be able to share the excitement of a pregnancy announcement, feel a baby move inside me, or any of the bittersweet moments of pregnancy. I haven’t had any regret whatsoever. It’s been a month and I still am 100% confident I made the right choice for our family.
I’m sure I’ll always have those sad moments as pregnancy is an amazing thing to experience however, at the end of the day I feel overwhelmed with love and blessings with the three girls I’ve been blessed with.
Until next time…