I mentioned this in an earlier post when I talked about who my hero was.. I mentioned that when you talk to most girls their hero is their dad.. but that is not the case for me. My “dad” doesn’t deserve to be called anyones hero, especially mine. So today, I will be writing an open letter to my “dad” and sharing it with y’all.
I won’t even begin this letter dear dad because you’ve never proven that title to me. I only have a handful of memories with you and it was probably once every 3-4 years, if that.
At 3 you signed your rights over. Why? I only know what I was told but you claim that it was my mom’s fault. No one could ever force me to sign the rights of my child over, nothing. You want to know why? Because I am a PARENT. I’m not just someone who laid down with another person and created a child I wanted nothing to do with. So, whatever your excuse is.. it’s not good enough.
I have always had a father figure in my life so there’s no worry for that. It was just never you. Your excuses are alwasy the same. “I tried and your mom wouldn’t let me see you.” Even if that WAS the case.. fight harder. I know damn well that if I was ever in that situation I would go to the end of the earth and then some to see my kids. Get the fuck outta here with that bullshit excuse.
If there’s one thing you’ve taught me it’s how not to parent and what not to want in a partner. My husband is an amazing father to our three girls and you will never ever measure up to him. He’s present, he’s caring, he’s loving.. but most importantly he’s showing my girls how they deserve to be treated and to find a man that is the opposite of you.
When I was pregnant with my oldest you messaged me on Facebook claiming you “didn’t know how much time you had left and wanted to be in your granddaughters life” EXCUSE ME? These girls are not, and never will be, your grandkids. My kids deserve way better than a revolving door of a grandpa in their life. They have two sets of amazing grandparents who are everything and more. They don’t need you in their life and I don’t want you in their life. Neither does their dad.
You came to me again when I was pregnant with our second child.. did you really think that I would change my mind? You’ve got to be pretty fucking clueless to think that I would want you in my kids’ lives when you couldn’t even be in mine.
I have been asked numerous times why I haven’t tried to get into contact with you and honestly, when your own dad doesn’t want to be in your life you start feeling worthless.. like you’re not good enough. That’s why I never reached out. I felt bad enough and didn’t want to chance rejection.. and to be completely fucking honest… it is not my job to reach out to you. Especially given your lack of everything parent related.
Lord, if I don’t finish this now I will go on and on and you don’t deserve that much of my time.
Your daughter who doesn’t need you