When you see those two pink lines or the positive sign on the pee stick you’re supposed to immediately feel a sense of overwhelming love. You’re pregnant. You’re growing a small baby. Unfortunately, for many, being a new mom or just a mom in general has become an overwhelming sense of being judged.
When it comes to parenting there is no right way. There are many ways to successfully parent, but no one right way. We all parent a little differently, however we see fit for our child(ren) and family. What we decide to do, or not do, should not be of concern to anyone except for the other parent of our child(ren) but no matter what decision you make you will be judged.
I was 19 when I had my first daughter and I didn’t know very much about parenting. In fact, I was clueless. There were a lot of things I did then that I now know were unsafe. I didn’t associate with many people after I had her so I didn’t hear any of the judging from friends. The things that I did hear, though, were I didn’t TRY HARD ENOUGH to breastfeed, our choice of discipline was poorly looked at, she had a pacifier until she was two years old and apparently that’s really unheard of and not good parenting. All of which, I see now are just pathetic reasons to judge someone for. I didn’t change my ways with her because I knew that my child was being fed, she was happy and healthy and that’s all that really mattered. She was being taken care of.
With my middle one.. I got the whole breastfeeding shit again. I tried my ass off with her, I was up all hours of the night pumping, was drinking a shit load of water, taking vitamins to help, eating right, etc.. Again, I wasn’t doing enough. Then came the solids argument/judgement.. We started baby lead weaning at 6 months but I heard I fed her solids too soon and she wouldn’t be able to digest them and process them sufficiently. But guess what, SHE DID. She’s fine.
With my youngest I haven’t heard too much but I honestly think it’s because I just simply do not care anymore. Think whatever you want but I know my kids are good!
And most importantly.. They’re MY kids and I’ll do as I feel with them. Unless and until I am harming them in some way, keep your judgments and comments to yourself.
Below I’ve gathered a few of my reader’s responses to this topic!
Probably would have to be nursing in public/nursing with a cover. Being a new mom…new to nursing a baby who did not latch was hard enough not having to worrying about people staring or expecting to wear a big blanket or nurse elsewhere. Trial and error ended with nursing discretely without a cover anywhere I needed.So in the beginning I did what I society expected even though it was extremely hard for me…but ended up doing what was best and easiest for me and baby. Not worrying about other ppl!
My kid had a paci until 2 days before he turned 4 and wasn’t potty trained until 3 1/2. He wasn’t ready for the 2nd and the first, well we had our reasons that were nobody else’s business. We were just quite harshly, mostly for the paci, and no I didn’t change my ways because of what people thought! He’s my kid, my choice, and it simply put was nobody else’s concern!
My daughter is 15 months old, is still breastfed, and we bed share. I get a lot of judgment for the bed sharing, which I didn’t expect, and no judgment for still breastfeeding, which is what I was preparing myself for. We haven’t changed anything because it is what works best for our family at this time.
I have been judged for quite a lot because I parent a lot different than most others. However, I would have to say the one thing I’m judged for the most that is absolutely ridiculous to me is because we chose to only have one child. I don’t know why this is so bizarre to people or why they feel they need to give their opinion on the matter. I just don’t get it.